You are to go to a pharmacy or department store and buy yourself a bottle of nail polish. Don’t buy a quick drying polish – they don’t stay on long enough for your needs.

Chose the brightest red you can find. NOT the first one you find. By all means pick this one up but compare it with all the others on sale to make sure it is the very brightest red nail polish in the whole shop before you buy it. When you are happy that you have the very brightest available, buy a set of toe-spreaders and a nail file or emery board as well.

Do not buy nail polish remover. If you already have some, throw it away. That way you can’t change your mind after an orgasm.

Go home and set aside at least an hour. Wash your feet thoroughly. Lightly file the ends of your toenails so they have no sharp edges and are slightly rounded.

Now fit your toe-spreaders. It feels uncomfortable at first, but your foot will soon relax. Shake the bottle of polish and unscrew the cap. Savour that smell. In time, it will become very familiar to you.

Paint your toenails. Take your time; if you rush you will make a mistake. Wipe the excess varnish off the brush against the bottle rim. You are better to apply lots of thin coats than one thick one which won’t dry well. Apply a single stroke down the centre of the first nail (start with your big toe, it’s a big target!) from just beyond the base to the tip. If your nails are long enough, run slightly over the edge at the tip; this will reduce the chances of the polish lifting off. Apply a further stroke either side and lastly across the base if required. Don’t redo a stroke you think it looks too uneven; you will only smear drying varnish and make a mess. You are going to build up the colour in layers, so uneven colour will be hidden. However, the rough texture of smeared polish will not be covered.

Repeat on your other toenails, then let them dry. Admire the feminising effect painting your nails has. Then apply a second coat. Again, let it dry thoroughly. If the colour is still a little thin or uneven, apply a third coat and let this dry.

No matter how excited you are, don’t put pantyhose or shoes on until you are certain the polish is completely dry.

Now go about your normal activities. Painted nails will look fabulous through pantyhose so they are strongly recommended. Keep your nails painted for a week before you go shopping for nail polish remover. At work, keep reminding yourself that you have painted toenails. Imagine how your colleagues would react! If any of your colleagues have painted nails on show, ask yourself if you would like to wear their colour next time. Maybe they’ll lend it to you if you ask nicely…

I’ll do it